To my son: Advice from your mom

Hey little man- you are totally unaware of this right now, being my little 3 month old bundle of blue, but there’s a huge world out there. It’s big and scary and it will treat you bad at times. It will chew you up and spit you out. As your mom, I totally don’t want to see that happen, but I know that you and I will have some serious conversations someday. As you lay beside me, gurgling, I am thinking of all of the things that you will have to deal with and I’ve decided to write them out. I may forget a few, but when the time comes, remember, I know what I’m talking about… I am a girl, after all.

As you may already know, your older sisters have tired me out. They’re great people, solid personalities, but girls are tough! I’m told that raising boys is easier. I’m not counting on it, though. I don’t want you to be ‘easier’ or ‘harder’ than you sisters. Parenting is parenting, boy or girl, and that brings me to my first word of advice.

1) If you become a father, planned or not, it is your responsibility to man up. Your life will change and you have to be okay with that. It was your actions that created the child, so the child is now your future.There are no excuses for abandoning your children, so don’t try to make any, and don’t ever walk away.

2) In accordance with number 1, if you are struggling with caring for the child, please, turn to your father and I, we’ve done this a time or two (actually, three). Don’t ever feel alone or let your pride get in the way of seeking help.

3) If a girl cheats on her boyfriend to be with you, she’s most likely going to cheat on you.

4) If a girl flirts with you while she has a boyfriend, she will flirt with others while she’s with you.

5) If a girl breaks your heart, she will have me to deal with, so pick your girls carefully. I can be rather embarrassing.

6) If your sisters or myself dislike a girl you are dating or are interested in, there is a reason. We may not be able to explain it, but us being girls, we can see right through unfaithfulness and cruel intentions. Trust us.

7) But trust your heart, too. If others (including your lovingly intentioned family) are discouraging your true feelings for someone you really care about, ignore us. We will give you a hard time, but prove us wrong.

8) Don’t ever lay a hand on a woman, belittle her, or make her feel less than herself.

9) But also, just because you are a male, does not mean you should tolerate abuse. If a woman is abusive in any form, get out. Just walk away. Come home and tell your mom (or sisters), there’s no law against us fighting your battles.

10) Treat your woman with every ounce of respect you can. Appreciate her. Thank her. Call her by a pet name. Buy her random gifts. Don’t forget your anniversary or her birthday. If she says she doesn’t want anything, she’s totally lying to you.

11) If she tells you she’s fine, she’s really not.

12) If I seem overbearing, tell me, but understand it’s because I know what I’m talking about.

13) Whenever you think that your father and I don’t understand, we totally do. Trust me when I say we’ve been there… and I won’t go into detail.

14) Make time for you.

15) Travel.

16) Attend concerts, games, and whatever you can muster, you will never regret it.

17) Start saving young, I learned about this the hard way.

18) Your vehicle does not make you. It may set the status quo, but in the end, people won’t remember you for your car or truck, they’ll remember how you treated them.

19) Always take your hat off in prayer, while eating, and during the pledge/ national anthem.

20) Speak appropriately around the elderly, ladies and children. Be aware of your surroundings.

21) Don’t test authority, they always win.

22) Love music.

23) Defend your sisters’ honor- even if they don’t deserve it.

24) Help your father around the house.

25) Work hard. Don’t be afraid of it.

26) Don’t make excuses.

27) Dream big.

28) Read books.

29) Never forget how much we love you… when you start doing that, you start losing who we brought you up to be.

30) Opportunities happen when you look for them.

31) Volunteer your time and offer your talents to others. If you’re good at sports, help others learn your passion. If you’re good in school, tutor people. If you enjoy being outside, shovel the neighbor’s drive way. Which leads me to…

32) Always look around you and do nice things for others. Figure out what they need and do it.

33) If you’re in the wrong, admitting it does not make you less of a man, in fact, it makes you more of a man.

34) Lying will always catch up to you- be honest with your partner.

35) Find a woman you can laugh with, talk to, explore with, and can trust. These are really the only things that matter.

36) Showing emotion may not be considered ‘manly’ but it’s considered human. You are human before you are a man.

37) Watch chick flicks every now and then, and don’t be ashamed.

and finally…

38) Always, and I mean always, tell your mother you love her.


Claire Pelletier

About Claire Pelletier

I'm 30. Boy am I 30. I have three children: Shelby (almost 8), Harper (3), and Aidan (1). I work full time as an English teacher, full time as a mom, part time as a wife, part time as a cook at a Diner (this is actually a paid position), and a per diem house cleaner. Basically, I do it all. Oh and I like to write (revert back to my full time teaching position). This life is crazy, people are even crazier, and online blogging has given me a voice. Some may think it's a loud and obnoxious voice, but I kind of like it. I do my best to write about things that interest people, mainly about myself. Sometimes I verge into the political land, but that place scares me, so I mostly write about every day things that make me laugh, cry, or scream. Thanks for reading!