Baby number 3

I have to say that being pregnant for the third time, I realize that this whole thing is old! It really is. There has not been one moment that I’ve been like, “Oh, third time pregnancy is a charm!” or “This is awesome!” Instead, I’m thinking, “Please, God, don’t let me go to term! Please, help me start labor at like 36 weeks…”

Don’t judge, just read on.

For example, when I feel the baby moving all I can think about is cracked ribs and sleepless nights getting up to pee every 17 minutes. That excitement was there for baby number 1 & 2, but this time? Not so much.

When I start looking at baby names, I think, jeez, I’ve nailed this twice, I’m bound to get it wrong sometime. And when I start looking at (what I think are) super cool names, my husband says, “Do you want kids to make fun of him forever?” And I reply, “Atticus is actually a very prestigious name,” and storm off because I can (I’m hormonal).

I start looking at baby clothes and think, “Ehh, it’ll be covered with puke and poop, so I’ll just buy white onesies.” Okay, this isn’t true- I actually have been spending a lot of money on baby clothes…

Also I refuse to redo the nursery, it won’t kill him to sleep in a purple room with pink bedding- it’ll strengthen his manliness. Besides, growing up with two sisters, the kid’s bound to have some sort of complex.

I even lost track of how many weeks I am- and when people ask how old my toddler is, I say 20 weeks instead of months. I’ve done it at least 10 times. They kind of look at me a little confused, but don’t ask any further. A friend of mine (her first pregnancy, mind you) was able to tell me to the day how far she is. I had to think for twenty to thirty seconds¬†and decided that I think I’m about 5 months…

Also- my first two pregnancies I truly enjoyed people asking me when I was due, is it a boy or a girl, and I loved telling them the name. Now, I don’t want people talking to me about it. I think I’ll just create a sign the I carry under my Bella band that I pull out every now and then that says, “Due July 5, It’s a boy, No name yet, husband hates Atticus. I know I look tired, thanks for reminding me.” On the back it’ll say, “I know I’m showing, I’m freakin’ pregnant.”

And seriously, if one more person says, “It’s okay, you’re hormonal,” to me, I may literally lose it. I’ll show you what hormonal is…

And then there’s delivery…

** WARNING!! First time pregnant woman skip this paragraph** Being pregnant the third time, I really remember what labor feels like. I have not forgotten the searing pain and the anxiety when your baby won’t latch on. I have not forgotten how people come to visit me when all I want to do is get some sleep. I have not forgotten how exhausted I was and how much pain I was in the days after labor. I remember it all.

**First time pregnant woman, keep reading** I also remember the complete joy and euphoria you feel about everyone in your life. I remember the warm feeling that hormones give you for the first few weeks or so. I have not forgotten how amazing it is to step through your doors with your newborn for the first time. These are the moments I’m looking forward to.

Being a mom for the third time doesn’t scare me. I just hate being pregnant again. When someone asks me how I’m feeling, I’m likely not going to lie- so if you want to know, please ask. But when I tell you I feel like shit, don’t be surprised. ¬†Besides- I’m hormonal, I’m allowed to be rude.

For all of you happy pregnant women out there: I’m happy for your. No really, I am. I hope that you have an amazing rest of your pregnancy. I hope your labor is quick and painless. Like, I’ll pray for it. And when you tell me you feel amazing, and labor was a cinch, I will be truly happy for you.

Or not.

Anyway- for all of your third timers out there, I’m with you! Be honest with someone today!!