Request to my children’s teachers

I’m writing this blog strictly as a parent- professionally, I view things a little differently, but personally, please, understand that as a parent, I’m asking my children’s teachers to promise me a few things.

The following requests are solely because I know that if my child is partaking in any of the following activities, it reflects on my parenting. It reflects on the lessons I have taught them, and if I’m not doing my job, I need to know. I only see what happens in my house- you see how they’re going to be in the real world. You are part of the process that helps them to see the world as a place where communication, discipline, respect, expectations, hard work, and humanitarianism are not only helpful, but necessary. I want to thank you in advance and I want to remind you that there are people who truly appreciate what you’re doing. I may not always agree with you, but I promise to look at the situation through your eyes, too, because that’s what I want my children to do. So, here it goes:

  1. If my child has been disrespectful, please let me know, and feel free to discipline them how you feel is necessary. Expect my full backing. I want my children to know from their teachers that they can’t walk around in life and treat people like dirt.

  2. If my child has lied, cheated, stolen, or deceived in any way, hold them accountable and give them the worst possible consequence, real life is calling.

  3. If my child is struggling, let me know so I can help. If I can’t help, please, just do your best- that’s all I can expect. If they are struggling for reasons that are out of their control, be patient with them. If they are struggling for reasons that directly relate to negative decisions they are making, remind them that there is a difference. Tell them that their mom, “Told you so.”

  4. If my child has not done their work, please, give them a zero. Do not fluff their grade, do not give them a ‘get out of jail free card’. They need to be held accountable to your expectations, no matter how difficult they may be. Help them get ready for college and the workforce by seeing the consequences to their negligence.

  5. If my child has earned a failing grade, please, give them a failing grade. Whether they have not worked hard enough, failed to hand in work, or just blew off your class, they need to be accountable for this. You are the only judge of this, not me, not my husband, not my child, and not the administration. You are in this profession because you are passionate about what you do and what you know my child will need. I get it.

  6. If my child has done something nice for someone, thank them, but don’t overly reward them. I do not want them to walk around when they’re adults expecting money and gifts for being a good person. This is just something they should do.

  7. If my child has broken a school/ class rule or expectation, follow through. If it’s a simple as they used pen instead of pencil or wore a hat inside the building, do what you need to do. If they’re refusing to follow these simple expectations, it’s because they do not understand that they, as a student, have a responsibility to uphold the school’s values and pride. Even if I agree that the rule doesn’t make sense, I will tell them that rules are rules and they are meant to be followed. They may call me out on the times that I don’t follow the rules, and I will do my best to be humble and agree.

  8. If my child goes to school without their homework done, skips class, or disrupts the learning of others, hold them after school for as long as it takes to get this done. If their homework is not done. that reflects on me as much as them, so please, send me an email, call me, or send me an instant brain wave message (my kids are young, you never know where we’ll be in 15 years!) informing me of this. I need to be accountable, too.

  9. If my child is making excuses about things, don’t listen to them. Call them out on it.

  10. Finally, if you do not feel supported by me in a decision or if you feel I’m not doing my duty as a parent, communicate that with me. I want my children to see that I communicate with people about my problems- not just deny they are there.

As time goes on, I may add more things to this list, but remember, I’m only asking these things to help my child see how their choices and behaviors will affect them in the future. If there are roadblocks in your way to follow through with the list of 10 things above, let me know because I know that the power of the parent is often stronger. I can be your best ally, use me as you need to. I do not want my children’s education to fail them and give them a false sense of what’s really going on out there. I don’t want them going to college and expecting teachers to exempt missing assignments or overlook needed skills. I want them ready for the work world where the rules and expectations need to be followed, no matter how minuscule or unnecessary. I want them to be nice, caring people who look out for others before themselves, but I don’t want them to expect a reward for it. I want them to learn the most they possibly can with what they are given. I want them to be frustrated and pressured at times, because that’s what they’ll face as an adult. I want them to be humanitarians and global thinkers, open minded and understanding of differences. I want them to be well rounded and the only way to do that is to expect the above ten things.

The pressure for your children’s teachers is real and I’m not here to make that more difficult. Instead, I’m here to make it easier for you to hold my kids to the standard that will help them succeed in life. That may not be in the common core, but don’t forget that you have more impact on them during these years than I do.

Thank and support your child’s teacher today.